Road to Abby-Grace

Abby March 2010

2010-03-30T09:06:00.009-05:00

Daddy Daughter Dance

2010-02-13T19:59:00.011-06:00

Thursday Chuck got to experience his first Daddy daughter dance. They had a great time and Abby danced with more than just daddy! She's quite the party girl!

What a difference a year makes!

2010-02-11T21:04:00.003-06:00

Savanna's Birthday

2010-02-11T05:30:00.007-06:00

Savanna is one of Abby's favorite people in the whole world so when her birthday came around Abby and daddy made a special cake!

Christmas Memories

2010-01-30T05:43:00.018-06:00

WEll insomnia strikes again so here is a sample of the Christmas joy we all expierenced. I picked out some of my favorites!

Better late than never

2010-01-29T05:47:00.008-06:00

Here are a few shots of our "First Christmas together" family portrait. Christmas was a magical time for Abby and she shared her joy and wonder with us all. There was a special kind of magic this year that only a child can bring. If my insomnia continues, I will try to post more Christmas pictures soon.

snow fun

2009-12-22T15:06:00.007-06:00

Abby had a great time playing out in the snow with Brandon. They built a"Snow Princess" together. I am getting very excited for Christmas,so many years I've waited to have her home and now she is finally here..it's almost surreal. It will truly be a blessing to have all of my family together celebrating CHRISTmas!

Abby's First snow

2009-12-09T05:30:00.006-06:00

We woke up Monday morning to find a little blanket of snow..Abby's eyes were as wide as saucers..another priceless moment.

Holiday Fun

2009-12-06T04:40:00.011-06:00

Abby is loving the holiday season already. It is so awesome to see the excitement and joy in her eyes with each new expierence and there is so much yet to come. It is going to be a truly Blessed Christmas.

Step One Putting up the tree

2009-11-28T15:09:00.010-06:00

Abby had a great time helping put up the tree. Hopefully tomorrow we can do ornaments. I am getting so excited about christmas with our little girl finally home.

2009-11-16T08:06:00.001-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Happy Halloween

2009-11-01T07:18:00.015-06:00

Abby ha a GREAT Halloween. Our Little Ladybug had a lot of peole that love her drop in with special treats. It is so awesome seeing her have so much fun. The next few months are going to be filled with wonderful firsts and great memories!

Fall Fun

2009-10-14T19:33:00.019-05:00

To Terry with love from Abby and Mama...finally some pictures !!!

4 months ago

2009-10-08T19:05:00.002-05:00

Just 4 short months ago today..we met a scared little girl named Lianqing..she has come SO far in such short time...she is really an amazing little girl!!!!!!!

First day of School

2009-09-13T18:27:00.003-05:00

Sorry have done such a poor job of keeping the blog up to date. Life right now is challenging. Since school has started I feel like we are on this crazy cycle. I know or at least hope that things will calm down after another huge adjustment in our lives. Abby continues to amaze me as she is doing an amazing job at school and all that is new challenges she faces. I have been bad about remembering my camera. Today she bowled for the first time and had so much fun, her smile was priceless. She has so many exciting firsts coming, I must do a better job of capturing this memories, for as we all know they only come around once.

Waterpark Fun

2009-08-21T05:52:00.006-05:00

I apologize for my not keeping up with the blog.It seems life is moving at lightening speed and time has really gotten away from me. I did not even get Abby's Bday pictures posted. I will try to get them up, there are a lot of them so I thought I would update what I could do quickly. Last weekend we headed to a water park in Lake Geneva for a last family fun time before school ascended upon us. We spent the night at Timber Ridge Lodge.Although everyone had fun,it was Abby who really had the time of her life. She loved the slides and was quite the little daredevil,trying to keep up doing everything her big brothers did. She was ticked when she couldn't go down this intense body slide because she wasn't tall enough,LOL. She stayed in the park until 10pm and was ready to go back early the next morning:)

Abby's Journey Home

2009-08-07T20:05:00.003-05:00

\ 6 years ago today a 2 day old baby girl was found abandon on a roadside in China..but God had a plan for her life and that baby girl (after a long journey) would find her way home. Brandon created this video and it shows beautifully the miracle of adoption and the miracle of Abby-Grace!

Happy Birthday Abby

2009-08-06T19:42:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was Abby's 6th bday. She had a great day full of presents,cards,Chuck E.Cheese and Dora cupcakes. Sunday is her party so there is still more fun to be had!!!!

Abby's birthday photo shoot

2009-07-31T14:28:00.012-05:00

I took Abby for her birthday photos. Here is just a sampling. It is so hard to decide. She did a great job. Her birthday is on August 5th and party on August 9th so stayed tuned for more photo fun!!

Abby's Grimm Life:)

2009-07-29T16:07:00.005-05:00

Abby continues to settle into her new life as a "Grimm". The social worker comes tomarrow for Abby's one month post placement visit, hopefully she will be as "wowed" at her progress as we are!

An orphan's prayer

2009-07-21T21:06:00.005-05:00

An Orphan's Prayer
posted in a AGCI email

I am waiting…somewhere far, far away…on the other side of the world.
I may not know who you are or what you look like.
But somehow, deep in my heart, I know you are out there.
That one day you will come and find me.

It's a long journey, and it takes a lot of time.

I wish it could be easier.
But I know that the ones who come for me will not count the cost.
They will only see the joy of finding me.

For now I abide in the fields of the fatherless.
Day by day wondering, "Why was I born here and not somewhere else?"
Asking, "Why couldn't my life have been different?"
It is so lonely…

Even though I am surrounded by hundreds of other children,
I know that something is missing.
I know in my heart I need a place to call home.

My arms long to be wrapped in a father's embrace…
I long to be saved by a mother's love.
Gazing out the orphanage window, I offer a prayer of hope,
"Oh God, please help them come quickly."

Even as I lay in the darkness each night somehow I feel assured.
That no matter how lost I appear I am not alone.
Holy hands guard my steps; sacred fingers wipe my tears…
Touching my lonely heart.

The one who made me,
The God who knew me before I was born,
Hears me every time I call.
He whispers His promises in my ear.
I listen with hope to His voice.

But what I worry about most is that no one wants to look for me.
The fields are vast, and there are so many scattered all over the earth.
I wonder how one little child, so lost, can be found.
Yet He calms my heart and assures me that He will find you.
That He will make sure you hear His voice clearly.
He has promised me that He will make a way through the fields.
That He will personally cut a path, and lead you right to my orphanage door.

My prayer is…
When He speaks, please don't forget to listen.
When He calls, don't be too afraid to go.
For I am waiting…somewhere far, far away.

It took five years to find her,I know she is the one that God placed on my heart so long ago. What if I had given up, what if I had listened to those who said"maybe, it's not meant to be? I can't imagine life without her..I knew my heart was right, what is your heart telling you?

Summer time fun

2009-07-20T07:05:00.005-05:00

Abby continues to amaze us with how well she is adjusting. She has really taken to the pool and gets a little braver everyday. Her fear of the worship center at church has also turned to curiosity, She wanted to sing and pray to Jesus with Brandon . I got there just as they were singing the closing song,so maybe next week. She also went to the children Sunday school for about 20 minutes. She did well and gave Arol(The family pastor) two thumbs up and a good job for his singing and guitar playing. Every day is like a new adventure ,as she continues to discover and learn about this new place called home

Cowgirl Abby

2009-07-12T13:05:00.009-05:00

Abby has become very fond of a girl from church named Savanna. Savanna rides horses an so Abby wanted to try it also. The trust she has been exhibiting is so wonderful. She had a great time, she is really adjusting so beautifully. I am so thankful to God for all he has done for us this past month. Abby also said her first sentence in English..looking at a used car lot she said"pretty balloons on the cars" I said,"Good talking",Abby. She points to her head and says "Abby is smart" She is So Right about that!! She has already added so much joy to my life!!

one month ago today

2009-07-08T18:38:00.002-05:00

One month ago was gotcha day. I am amazed at the progress Abby has made in such a short time. She is so eager to learn. I wonder now what i did with all that spare time I used to have :)

Abby at build a bear

2009-07-03T17:30:00.009-05:00

Auntie Suzy took Abby to Build a Bear. She had agreat time.She picked out a panda bear and named it Lian Qing. She LOVES her bear. Thanks Auntie Suzy! There are more photos ON MY FACEBOOK photo album if you are able to check them out. Looking forward To Abby's first 4th of July!

Abby's weekend

2009-06-28T19:49:00.006-05:00

Abby had a busy weekend. She went to China buffet,Looked at her Bible with Brandon, made it though Saturday service(in the play room)met Auntie Susie and cousin Steve and had her first trip to Nana's and met Scooter. She loves to go, go, go

More abby pics

2009-06-26T21:45:00.008-05:00

a few more pics of Abby... On her bike from Grandpa Grimm, watering flowers, Brandon and I at Abby's hair salon, and checking out Nana's watch. more fun to come I'm sure!

A picture says a thousand words

2009-06-24T14:59:00.005-05:00

We're Home

2009-06-23T21:12:00.002-05:00

I apologize for how long it's been since I updated. Blogger was not available in China and it has been a whirlwind since we have returned. Abby is doing amazing in just the short time we have had her. I will try to post but lets Just say I have ALOT less free time on my hands. Here is a pic from the day we came home and she saw her room:)

Now the real journey begins

2009-06-04T21:07:00.002-05:00

Well,This is it,tomorrow we start the very long journey to the other side of the world to bring Abby home.On Monday at 2pm(that's 3am central time) Mr.Li is picking us up at our hotel and taking us to meet Abby. This day that I dreamed of,that I longed for and cried a thousand tears for, is really here. I have a million emotions running through me. All the years we waited, all the "why Gods" all come down to this day..this child..this is God's plan. I can't wait to see her sweet face right in front mine.. I hope to blog there but if it is not available and I have you as an email contact,I will be sending out a mass email with a photo attached. so bye for now..catch ya on the other side of the world!!

What lies ahead

2009-05-31T12:44:00.006-05:00

June 1st is Children's day in China. I am hoping that means some fun is in store for Lianqing. I am really going to concentrate on praying for her this week. Her world is about to be turned upside down and though we all know what good lies ahead for her,she does not. She will only know that she has been taken from the only "home" she has ever known,away from her nannies,friends and routine and handed over to two strange looking people that don't speak her language, who supposedly are her new mama and daddy. I know she will be very scared especially that first day and night. My prayer is that God will send her peace and understanding,that her little confused,broken heart will be able to feel the love and compassion we have for her. Please pray in the days and weeks ahead that God will help Chuck and I to have patience and love that surpasses any situation we may be put in. I already know I could never do what lies ahead on my own..this is a God thing. He will be my strength.So please pray for all of us as we begin this incredible journey..especially little Lianqing.

CHINA OR BUST!

2009-05-29T06:27:00.004-05:00

Only one more week until we leave for China. I can't believe it is THIS close, that in 10 days I will meet Lianqing. Her life as an orphan will end and our life as a family will begin. The Road to Abby-Grace has almost found it's final destination and what a LONG, bumpy road it's been.There is a Third day song that says, "I must go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God!"
I am thinking about changing the name of the blog once we are home. I will post another voting poll on the side. I am thinking I may include info about the whole family on the blog and so some of the names reflect this. The web address will stay the same regardless of what gets decided for a new name. Gotta go pack!!

Gettin Closer

2009-05-23T13:05:00.004-05:00

Well,We are getting closer and we are down to less than 2 weeks until we leave. We received our paper tickets in the mail. I didn't even know they still gave paper tickets. I got really excited when I saw Lianqing's. I guess because I wasn't expecting it but it only makes sense,she is going to need a ticket HOME.That sounds so awesome.
The local fire dept was doing a car seat safety check today,so I took advantage and went ahead and put in Abby's. It's so strange to see it back there.Cameron's face was priceless when I picked him up from his friends, he opened the door to get in and there was a booster seat staring him in the face.:)
We have some packing done but we have a long way to go. When I really stop and think about it, I can't believe this is all really happening and we are SO close. It won't be long and I will be blogging from China:)

One Year Ago Today

2009-05-15T05:44:00.003-05:00

One year ago today I first saw Lianqing's sweet little face. This photo was on a waiting child list sent to me and I remember looking at it and wondering if she could be the one.. and now I am 3 weeks away from flying half way around the world to call her mine. What an amazing 365 days it has been, something tells me the next365 are going to be even MORE amazing. Thanking the Lord for this road, only he could have put before us.

We're going to China!!!

2009-05-12T17:27:00.002-05:00

We received our consulate appointment( the finalization of the adoption), it is 9AM on June 16th,which is just what we wanted!! We will be leaving June 5th. We are not sure if we are coming home on the 18th of June. There are some problems with flights that day and if we came home then it would be $$$$$$$. We might have to stay an extra day or I am checking in to the possibility that we can leave on the 17th after we pick up her VISA. It is all very exciting but also making my head spin! 3 weeks from Friday we will be leaving..in the meantime let's have 2 graduations, an
8th grade dance, a broken car and an extra dog..I don't care I'm JUST SO HAPPY!!!!!
I will keep posting as things progress!!

IT"S HERE!!!!

2009-05-11T18:05:00.002-05:00

Our Travel approval arrived today! We will find out in 1-3 days our exact travel dates,it all depends on if we can get an appt for our adoption proceeding on June 16 If we can we will have our original dates. If not, it will only be off by a day or two. It is looking like a month from now,I will be in China with OUR ABBY-GRACE!!! I can't believe after all this time,all the tears,heartache,and paperwork..it is finally going to happen. I am going to have a daughter:)

Good News

2009-05-08T15:15:00.003-05:00

I heard from the adoption agency and they finally got a response back from China. Our Travel Approval was sent out yesterday from China. It should be here early next week. I am really hoping we can keep those orginal dates but only God knows what is best. Thanks for your prayers and support. I will post when I have more info to share..just wanted to keep everyone updated:)

Joy,Sorrow, and Hope

2009-05-02T06:19:00.003-05:00

Well, this week has been like a roller coaster,and anyone who knows me, knows that I hate roller coasters. I'm afraid of them because I don't know what is going to happen next...just like my week. The week started off great with an adoption shower at church for Abby-Grace(sorry I don't have pics, our real computer is broken.I promise I will post soon). It was so wonderful and I was so full of joy being able to finally answer the question"When will you get her?" We received a bunch of stuff for her but what really touched my heart was the excitement and support everyone had for her arrival. I could see the finish line right in front of us. As the work week began, I started hearing about the swine flu but I had know idea how much it would effect my life. The week went on and I started hearing rumors that it may start impacting travel in the adoption world. I emailed our agency but before I received an answer, the Chinese Consulate of Adoption Affairs put out a statement. They are taking this very seriously and some agencies are not allowing their families to travel. One I know of was to leave a week from today and had tickets etc.What a crime in my mind. I took this statement from the CCAA to mean they would not be sending out any more travel approvals. Which we don't have yet. Some people were saying it could be 3-5 months until things are back to normal. Let's just say I had a mini breakdown with all this information swirling around. I have SO been dreaming of finally seeing her sweet face,of her NOT being in the orphanage for her bday,of having the summer off to spend outside with her. This time was the closest I have ever felt to her,it felt SO good but made the idea of a set back hurt SO bad. Thursday afternoon I talked to my adoption coordinator - She told me that they have not received any word that Travel approvals have stopped being given and that there is still a chance that we could possibly keep our tenative dates. It is hard to get accurate information because it is a holiday in China and everything is closed. So there is my tiny ray of hope,that I am holding onto. We should have received our TA by now,it is usually 2-4 weeks and it was 5 weeks on Thursday. I am trying so hard to trust God and believe that he has it all under control. It is times like this I feel like such a weak Christian. I am scared and worried and don't understand why this is all happening. I'm annoyed that this swine flu is being made such a big deal of, when according to my friend in the health profession,over 20,000 people die a year from just the regular old influenza we get every winter. It's ridiculous to have these children in orphanages wait longer,they've already waited TOO LONG. I am trying to put my focus and prayer into HOPE and see what next week brings. It is either going to be really good news or really bad news. PLEASE pray for this adoption and Abby-Grace, that God would put his protective hand around this adoption.

We have (Tentative) dates!!!

2009-04-23T20:20:00.002-05:00

I talked to the adoption agency and we got (tentative)dates!!!!! We will be leaving on June 5th arriving on the 7th ( we lose a day on the 16 hr flight..yikes) We get Abby on June 8th, consulate appt(adoption finalization)would be June 16th and we leave on June 18th, which is the same day we arrive home(we gain a day). I am beyond excited. We haven't received our travel approval but it should be coming any day, then these dates will be finalized. 45 days until I finally get to see her in person and hug her and begin the next journey... Forever family. I feel so blessed..thank you God for this remarkable gift.

A visit from Meizhi and her mom

2009-04-19T06:26:00.003-05:00

Friday I got an little "training" for life with a five year old. My friend Erin came over with her daughter Meizhi. She is just TOO cute. That bought Abby- Grace a few gifts. She is very energetic and really kept Chuck on his toes.LOL I also realized how unprepared my household is. I had NO plastic cups.(not one), a screwdriver lying on the floor of Abby's closet(Cameron!) and 2 dogs that didn't know what to think of this little person. It was wonderful to hear the the little voice and laughter of a child. Everyday is a day closer to Abby-Grace.

Happy Easter Abby-Grace

2009-04-12T07:22:00.004-05:00

Well,it is Easter morning, I am sitting in the quiet after hiding the eggs and I just got this wave of missing Abby. I am SO close and yet so far away. Oh how I wish she was up sleeping in her bed or even better too excited about the bunny to sleep. Another holiday without her and though my heart is filled with excitment and joy at how close we are to getting her..I feel the tug of heartache on this day of family.Hopefully, this is the last holiday without her.
I almost have her welcome bag finished.The photo album is taking longer than I thought. I bought a mother/daughter necklace, where the two parts fit together to make a heart,it is on a satin cord. I would love it if she had it on when we meet her on "gotcha day". It is my favorite thing in her bag.
Easter is a day filled with hope that our heartaches and sadness are not the end of the story. God has good things planned in the days ahead. When I think about where I was a year ago and how close I am to having a daughter now,I am an awe of God's grace and feel So blessed and isn't that what it's all about. Happy Easter!

Preparing for Abby-Grace

2009-03-28T11:56:00.009-05:00

Here are some photos of Chuck and I signing the "Letter of Acceptance" for Lianqing and her bedroom so far. Her room still needs a few finshing touches and I'll re-post when we get that done. I was excited to share what we have done so far. The agency said I could send her a welcome bag. I am going to send her a photo album. I have to get photos of faces and places that will be part of her new life. It is suppose to make the transition easier. I am also going to send a toy and maybe some candy for the older children at the orphanage. What an exciting time.:)

I just got the call ! WE are LOA

2009-03-26T16:19:00.005-05:00

I Just got the call that we got our letter of approval today!! I am beyond excited. This is the final approval from China so ABBY is ours! We will get a final paper next day aired tomorrow, that we sign to say YES! we want to adopt her. Next step travel approval and then we go to China. I have so many emotions running through me, right now I could just burst with happiness. The agency thinks travel will be end of May or beginning of June. It won't be long now and best of all.. the orphanage will tell her she is going to be adopted:) Please continue to pray for her and us that the Lord continues to guide us! What an awesome God! I feel so blessed!!!!

What A Difference A Year Makes

2009-03-13T06:04:00.005-05:00

A year ago today, I got the news that Vietnam was closing and we were not far enough on the waiting list to get a referral. We were 20 spots short. I remember reading the email at work and feeling like someone had punched me in the stomach, having to leave work early because I couldn't hold in the grief and heartbreak. Our "last chance" had fallen through and I had no hope and I didn't understand why God was allowing this to happen again. I remember feeling SO HOPELESS and now a year later, here we are with pictures of a little girl from China( the country we always felt we were supppose to adopt from) and a pink bedroom in our house. Our God IS Awesome and truly Amazing.I couldn't see this plan all those night I cried myself to sleep but he already knew he had picked out this little girl for us and what a long and crazy road we would have to take to find her. When we started on this adoption road, we would have never considered a child with a repaired cleft lip or an older child. We wanted a perfect little baby, like most parents. Now I look at Lianqing and she looks perfect to me and I wonder WHY I insisted on a baby, which brings me to a poem that was sent to me by a Mom we may be traveling with when we go to China. She said it reminded her of Abby and when I read it, tears came to my eyes because I am sure Lianqing has seen this scenerio played out many times.
The Waiting Child
An Adoption Poem
By Debbie Bodie
I saw you meet your child today
You kissed your baby joyfully
And as you walked away with him
I played pretend you'd chosen me.
I'm happy for the baby, yet
Inside I'm aching miserably
I want to plead as you go by,
"Does no-one want a child of three?"
I saw you meet your child today
In love with her before you met
And as I watched you take her out
I knew it wasn't my turn yet.
I recognize you from last year!
I knew I'd seen your face before!
But you came for a second babe.
Does no-one want a child of four?
I saw you meet your child today
But this time there was something new
A nurse came in and took MY hand
And then she gave my hand to you.
Can this be true? I'm almost six!
And there are infants here, you see?
But then you kissed me and I knew
The child you picked this time was me.
Copyright 1997
I can not wait for Lianqing to know,that indeed it is her turn. Please continue to pray for her and the adoption as we go through the last two stages, The letter of Approval and the invitation to travel. Thank you God for showing us the way to Lianqing and getting us to where we are.

Tickled Pink

2009-02-23T19:25:00.008-06:00

Today the painter came and transformed Cameron's former bedroom into a pink room for Abby Grace. When I left for work it was blue and when I came home,I went upstairs and saw the pastel pink walls. Suddenly all these feelings came rushing through me... I think I am going to have a daughter.This is going to be her bedroom,where I will read her bedtime stories and teach her bedtime prayers. We will have tea parties and mom/daughter talks. If through the Grace of God, we are in trusted with this child to be in our family...what a gift. I am already so blessed with my two boys and I realize how in my younger days,out of ignorance, I took those gifts for granted. I think because those gifts came fairly easy. I wanted to have a baby and a few months later I was pregnant.Nine months later, I had a beautiful healthy baby boy. With this adoption taking 5 years,set back after set back, the heart breaking nights of questions,doubt and tears,wondering if this dream would ever come true. It has been SO long and hard but it has taught me so much about appreciation especially for the gifts you already have,giving up control but not giving up your dream and finally, trusting that my heavenly Father has a plan for my life. It is not my plan but his,it is not my timing but his and if I just have faith he will show me HIS way. My prayer now is that I will soon hear the words I have been longing for 5 years. "We received your Letter of Approval,you're going to China to pick up your daughter. Oh what a joyful day it will be....

Shopping Fun

2009-02-22T08:13:00.004-06:00

I took advantage of the new measurements that were sent with the pictures last week and did a little shopping for Abby-Grace. It was FUN FUN FUN!! I can't go too crazy because the measurements are not always reliable. The agency said to buy one outfit smaller and one larger than what you think they wear. I was also given some cute hand me downs.(Thanks Angie and Tina). Most of the stuff I bought was on sale and I found shirts at Walmart for a dollar. You just can't pass up a bargain like that. My "Splurge" purchase were the adorable jeans I have pictured. Once I saw they said "Dreams Do Come True" They were MINE or should I say HERS! It will be so amazing when I can actually have her with me shopping(atleast until she's a teenager:)and I know that it fits her. I also can't wait for our LOA(letter of approval) then I can send her something and she will probably get it because they will tell her she is going to be adopted. I want to send a small photo album(like a brag book) with pictures of all the people and places that will be part of her new world. Looking ahead this week, the upstairs bedroom goes from blue to pink and it officially becomes"Abby's room". I promise to post pictures as the transformation takes place. What a day it will be the first time I can walk her upstairs and show her all the things we picked out for her with hope and love in our hearts. I hope she can feel all that love and hope we have for our future together. Thank you God for this gift that I know I don't deserve, your Grace is truly amazing. I will be reminded of this grace every time I say her name.

My Little Fashion Disaster

2009-02-07T05:07:00.006-06:00

We got a few new pictures of Abby yesterday,which is always so emotional. I am so thankful to get another glimpse of her but I cry because she is so big and it just reminds me of how she is growing up over there and we are waiting over here. I feel desperate to go get her. The first picture is my favorite picture ever because she looks like a little girl who might be having a little fun. It is not posed and she is away from the orphanage. I look at that picture and my heart bursts with love!I want to go blow bubbles with her. The second photo,I laughed out loud.Who dressed this child?? OH MY -SOMEONE CALL THE FASHION POLICE. She looks so big in this picture and she has grown quite a bit,her new measurements are height 3ft7in and weight 41lbs. I had bought some size 5 clothes for her but I think I am going to bring them back and get a 6.
We have been logged in for over 30 days. Hopefully approval will come quicker than the usual 90 days,like it did for the last family and we can go get her in May. You'd think after all this time and being this close, I would have learned patience..not so much. One thing I have learned is to trust God and his plan for your life and so I will wait for his perfect timing to finally hold my daughter.

Chinese New Year..The Year of the Ox

2009-01-25T08:18:00.003-06:00

The Chinese are celebrating the most exciting time of the year for them and I have been reading about all the festivities that are underway. I have to wonder what the orphanages do for the children. I just hope Abby may be getting a little fun in the week ahead. We are celebrating with a trip to the China Buffet today.
I found out a couple things about her Chinese name..Lianqing. First,it is all one word not two,as I have been using it and it means "romantic love".
I found this great website nciku.com. You type in any word, it tells you how to say it in Chinese or what it means. I typed in her name and that's what came up. Which has me wondering about the whole name game again. Do I name her Abby-Grace Lianqing Grimm.That is a long name,guess we have some time yet to decide. The agency is guessing travel will be in May/June. I received an information packet in the mail yesterday, which was very exciting but also freaked me out. Phrases like "not all places you will be at will be equipped with a western toilet" I guess we shouldn't take our toilets for granted because apparently they squat over a hole and there is no toilet paper.We were advised to "carry tissue with you at all times". They advised we learn to use chopsticks because you will not always have a fork as an option.
Yes, it is all a bit scary to a control freak like myself.Just being given a five year old who doesn't know any English and is being taken away from everything she's ever known,add in wacky cultural differences and paperwork up the wazoo..yeah the panic begins to set in. God will get me through it though. This is my dream. If dreams were easy they wouldn't be called "dreams". Start praying for me now though.
It should definitely be a trip of a lifetime.....

Hurray for log-in and Bloggin'

2009-01-14T16:10:00.002-06:00

First,let me say how much I love how my blog turned out. My favorite parts are Abby's face in the heart,bible verse,and Chinese symbols! Next,I received the very exciting news that are paperwork was logged in on January 5Th. I've heard that the letter of acceptance usually comes around 90 days later and travel shortly after that. I am still hoping that I could have Abby(or be in China) by my birthday on May 3rd. That would be amazing and I wouldn't have to miss graduation day either.I have been thinking a lot about how it will be to have Abby at home. Sometimes I get scared at all the unknowns but mostly I get very excited to have my little girl home. :)

Extreme Blog Make Over

2009-01-09T05:47:00.004-06:00

I found a website that does blog make overs. They are absolutely gorgeous,so I decided to treat myself. Keep checking back and prepare to be wowed because this woman does amazing work. In adoption news,today so is our deadline. I contacted the agency yesterday just to double check that everything was OK. Our paperwork made it there on January 5th so we're good.I'm still waiting for a log in date but hope to be getting that very soon. Time for more waiting.... dreaming...hoping:)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

2009-01-02T07:40:00.003-06:00

I know it has been a while since I checked in...busy,busy,busy.
Our paperwork is now at the Chinese Consulate waiting to be logged in. I know.. that's what I said last time. When Mr.Li from the agency was translating it, he thought the notary issue we had back in Oct/Nov would be a problem for our application letter, which is basically us telling the Chinese government our plan for Abby and promising to never mistreat her. Anyway,that involved us re-doing the letter, notarizing, authenticating and certifying it. All during the worst December Chicago has seen in a long time,which is saying A LOT. Anyway, It is finally where it needs to be waiting to be logged in.
Something else exciting is our agency put us in contact with the two other families we will be traveling with. We have been emailing,it is always an awesome thing to hear other's journey and how God has worked in their lives.
I am so excited about all the changes 2009 brings. Abby of course but also Brandon graduating and going on to start his ministry degree,Cameron getting to sing at Disney World and starting High school. It's all so awesome. 2009- I keep saying "the year dreams come true" I am so ready!!!!

The Gift of Faith

2008-12-20T07:28:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I was brought to tears by a handmade gift from a four year old. This is an ornament made by Sarah Meizhi and her mom. She was adopted into her forever family two years ago. It says "Faith" in Chinese. Along with it was a little note which read-Faith-The assurance of things hoped for;the evidence of things unseen.
It touched my heart and just may end up being my favorite gift this year. You see you can't find gifts this precious in a store,money can't buy them. They are priceless. Wishing you a Christmas filled with touching moments like this and gifts that are priceless. What greater gift could I have been given than the gift of "faith"??

It's Finally on it's way!!!!!

2008-12-10T15:57:00.006-06:00

Yes,our paperwork if finally on it's way to China!!!Next step is to be logged in. The agency said that should be in a few weeks. If we could be logged in by Christmas that would be the best present I could recieve. It feels SO good to be a step closer!
Keep praying!!!

MY heart speaks

2008-12-05T06:18:00.005-06:00

I first heard this song last year when Chuck and I went to the Third day Christmas Concert. It touched my heart then and I talked about the impact it made on me and included the lyrics on my blog. We were on a waiting list for Vietnam with hundreds of people in front of us and no idea what the year ahead would bring. So much has happened&changed in one year. This year as I listen to this song that speaks my heart so well, I look at a little girl's face and pray to God that this year is THE year. I wonder what my life will be like a year from now and what lies ahead for us all in the months ahead. Will this be the year I finally get to hold the daughter I have held in my heart for so long?? Please listen and watch this video that another family in these shoes made for their daughter in China. Merry Christmas to all but especially you Abby!

Hooray It's finally here!

2008-11-19T12:23:00.003-06:00

Yesterday the mailman brought the much anticipated immigration letter. Which I sent next day air to the adoption agency. Now what??More waiting. It needs to be certified along with recommendation to adopt letter from the agency. Which will probably take about two more weeks then we can finally submit our dossier.I will be the happiest woman on the planet that day. We may be in another pile but we will be in a pile in China! Please keep praying for the adoption and for Abby.

Sending You the Gift I Know You'll Get

2008-11-18T05:08:00.007-06:00

Dear Abby,
I may not know whether you will receive the present I sent you but I know God delivers this "gift" to you everynight. I'm so sorry this is taking so long.
We will be there as soon as we can...love you
KISSES IN THE WIND (The Waiting Child's Lullabye)

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night
anonymous
All Our Love,
Mom & Dad

To Abby with Love

2008-11-13T19:44:00.007-06:00

Here is Abby's Christmas gift that is on its way to China. A musical Pooh bear and two Chinese sticker paper doll books.I was thrilled to find the one with the doll named Lian since her Chinese name is Lian Qing Who knows whether they will ever reach her hands but I bought duplicates of everything so in case she does ever play with them, she can make the connection. I can tell her how we were on the other side of the world missing and loving her. Still no paper from Immigration.I think Christmas is going to be a bit emotional for me this year. Since my dad died,it doesn't take much to make the tears start during the holiday season,happy or sad. So this year with a picture of a sad little girl(that is my daughter) on my fridge, it should be real interesting. I cried when I put it in the Ziploc bag, I cried when I wrote out the label. I cry when I think about her getting it and I cry when I think about her NOT getting it because she doesn't even know about us yet. Hopefully, God's plan and my plan are similar and next year she will be here and all this pain and waiting will be a distant memory. How can you love someone so much that you have never met???

and another month goes by....

2008-11-09T06:54:00.006-06:00

Four months ago today I got the phone call,"China has pre-approved you to adopt Lianqing." I was so unbelievably ecstatic! When I got the official pre-approval document and saw we had 6 months to get the paperwork into China ,I remember thinking no way is it going to take us THAT long to get the paperwork in. Now another month has gone by,and my paperwork is not over there.I sit and WAIT,for this is no longer in my hands.In my faithful moments,I tell myself it is in God's hands and he has everything under control.His timing is perfect.Then there are my freak out moments,when every possible thing that can go wrong swirls around in my head,when I realize I have just lost another four weeks of her life that I can never get back and my heart aches so badly. 60 days is all I have left and then I will lose her. I know I need to remain faithful and positive. It is the only way to get through these days. I wish I could send everything but the immigration paper,so they know we are continuing the adoption and we want her but that is not possiable.So I sit and wait and dream and pray....

And The Winner Is....

2008-11-04T20:05:00.005-06:00

Gracie's Garden!!!! It received 60% of the vote Thanks to everyone that voted. I can't wait to paint the room. I am hoping to do that over my Christmas break. Exciting times ahead:)

One Piece of Paper...

2008-11-02T14:13:00.005-06:00

One piece of paper is all we need to have our dossier complete. Brandon had his fingerprinting done on Wednesday,DCFS has issued our endorsement letter,so now it is just a waiting game for one piece of paper from immigration. Once I send that to our adoption agency it gets processed along with the rest and about two weeks after that,it will be on it's way to China. I will be doing a happy dance on that day!!
I am able to send her something for Christmas but it must fit in a gallon Ziploc bag. I am not sure what to send. I do not think that they tell the children they are being adopted until the paperwork has been accepted. Which makes me wonder if she will get it at all or if it will be more like a donation to the orphanage. I have this musical Classic Pooh that I bought many years ago when I planning on an infant. I remember writing in my journal to her about wanting it to be the first thing I give her. I would like to send it but again I am afraid it will not be given to her. Chuck had a great idea to get another one and send one to her and have the other one on her bed when she gets here. Do you think I can find another identical Pooh? Of course not. I bought it at Target in the baby section but they don't carry it any longer. I am going to keep checking ebay. If anyone has any ideas or any knowledge of how things go, as far as when a child at the orphanage receives a gift, please leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you

A Little Fun

2008-10-25T07:51:00.007-05:00

I have been doing a lot of dreaming and playing online with decorating ideas for Abby's room. I have found three bedding sets I really like. I thought it would be fun to vote(it will be good practice). Please look at the 3 choices and then vote for you favorite. The winner will be posted on Nov.4th

The first Choice is called Flower Basket
The second bedding picture is Pink Shabby Chic
and the last choice is called Gracie's Garden.
Please vote on the poll provided on the side. I can't wait to see which one wins.

A Step in the Right Direction

2008-10-19T14:24:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to let you all know your prayers are working,I recieved the notice for Brandon's fingerprinting. He goes October 29th,a few weeks for clearance and that part of immigration will be complete. Every step is step to bringing Abby home :)

Who says God doesn't speak to you?

2008-10-18T07:02:00.008-05:00

So last night I wrote my post titled "Let go and Let God",I was missing Abby and feeling a little discouraged.I went to bed and prayed,got up this morning, checked my email and then on to daily word.com and this is what I found ....
Daily Word — Saturday, October 18, 2008

Let Go, Let God
I let go of all concern and trust God for the perfect outcome.
Awaiting the outcome of a situation can challenge my peace of mind, but only if I let it. I choose not to let it.
Looking to God in prayer, I call upon my vital source of inner strength. I deepen my spiritual understanding and gain greater insight and patience. During my prayer time, I release any concerns and preconceived ideas about how the situation will unfold. I am ready for great results.
My faith in God helps me replace any negative perception with a positive outlook. With renewed strength, I relax into a realization of God's presence and let events develop according to divine timing.
Through greater strength and deeper faith, I trust God for the right resolution and the perfect outcome.
"What is my strength, that I should wait? And what is my end, that I should be patient?"--Job 6:11
I feel like he is speaking to me and letting me know to trust him, not to worry. I have a little more peace of mind and heart.

Let Go and Let God

2008-10-17T20:41:00.003-05:00

I received an email from our SW who said she turned the homestudy in to DCFS when it was completed. I think that was late August.She supposedly was contacting them to find out the status but ahven't heard anymore. I suppose it is possible for it to sit in a pile for 6 weeks. The hardest part of this whole mess is that I have very little if any control over this. These government run agencies are on their own schedule. They see paper work not a child.I am really trying to be faithful and not fearful but I have to be honest,it is a daily struggle for me. Hopefully Brandon's fingerprint appt will come soon and I will at least feel like I am moving in the right direction.Until then all I can do is let go and let God.

HELP

2008-10-11T17:03:00.005-05:00

Today I went to the mailbox and saw 2 envelopes from immigration. I was excited, thinking one had to be Brandon's fingerprinting appt.-NOPE! One was a check they were returning because they found our first set of paperwork, the second was like a punch in the stomach. It seems our SW was suppose to have our home study approved by DCFS before it can be sent to immigration and it was not, so they can not process out request until be have DCFS approval. I am really MAD at her for dropping the ball and really scared about further delays causing us to not get our paperwork into China on time. I am about at my wits end with all of this. Please keep the adoption and my sanity in your prayers

Thank you God!!

2008-10-08T18:41:00.004-05:00

I heard from both immigration and the adoption agency. Immigration has no record of receiving the paper work so that was a bit of a bummer. I gathered it all up again and sent it UPS next day air. Hopefully,they will QUICKLY begin processing all of that. Now for the great news,the attestation the agency added to our documents worked! They have been certified through Washington Secretary of State! Yeah:)
I really don't know if I would have been able to keep my wits about me if I would have had to redo it. I am just praying Immigration moves quickly, that is the last piece to the puzzle. I want so badly to get our dossier over to China so I can feel one step closer to bringing our little girl home!!

Lori and the terrible,horrible, no good, very bad day

2008-10-01T19:58:00.003-05:00

I am ready to end one of the worst days I have had in a LONG time. It started out bad and got worse- I won't bore you with all the details but I will share with you some adoption news that is causing me to worry. I contacted our agency because I thought it had been a long time since I mailed immigration the request for Brandon's finger printing,change of country etc. I mailed it on Sept.9 and they have not even cashed my check. When she learned of this she suggested I contact them to make sure it is not lost..WHAT!!! If it's lost that is a BIG deal!!! I had Chuck buy delivery confirmation but he threw out the paper because he thought they had received it. If that alone isn't enough. Half our paperwork is being returned because of a problem with the notary. Which means it will all have to be done over again. I feel like I am taking one step forward and ten steps back.There is a possibility that our adoption case worker can provide a "footnote" on each document that "this is a genuine and true document" sign it and have it notarized there and then have the Washington(that the state they're in)Sect. of State certify it. Please pray that God will put his hand in this and lead us through all these problems and red tape. I am starting to get nervous about not making our pre-approval date. I don't think I could bear it if I somehow lost her after seeing her sweet face. I am trying to focus on tomorrow and this day from the time I got up , through work with all its problems, until 10 minutes ago when I was cleaning up dog XXXX for the third time, is almost over and tomorrow is a new day full of hope.

The waiting is the hardest part

2008-09-21T07:20:00.004-05:00

We are in a holding pattern right now of waiting. Waiting for immigration to contact Brandon for his fingerprinting so we can wait for FBI clearance,waiting for immigration to switch our adopting country from Vietnam to China,waiting for immigration to grant us permission to adopt an orphan from overseas. All this is what is holding up our paperwork from being sent to China. Where we will WAIT to be logged in,then we will WAIT for our acceptance letter then we will WAIT for permission to travel. I have been waiting for this a long time. Five years of waiting just to get to this exciting point of waiting. Now that I have a picture and a face of a little girl who is WAITING for me, it is much harder to wait. Don't these people know I am NOT a good "waiter". Which is why I celebrate "Family Christmas" on the 23rd of December and why anyone close to me knows not to send me a gift unless you want me to open it then and not wait. I know God's timing is perfect and there must be some reason for all this waiting but When I see how much she has grown,when I look at that little face and I imagine her here playing with all the things that are waiting for her... the waiting is truly the hardest part!

An Unexpected Surprise!!!!

2008-09-09T15:56:00.006-05:00

Today I checked my email on my lunch and found a wonderful surprise,new pictures of Lianqing(Abby)and measurements too.She is MUCH smaller than she appears.
She is 3ft 6inches tall and 35lbs.(Not the average size of a five year old) Obviously malnutrition is playing into this. As exciting as it was to get new photos,it also broke my heart at the same time. We don't even have our paper work over there and after it is, there may be a 5 month wait. She looks so sad to me and I don't know if you can tell but she has bug bites on her legs. I just want to GO GET HER and BRING HER HOME. Please say a prayer for her and that God will put his hand in this and move things along quickly and smoothly. Although,I know it is going to be an incrediably big adjustment when we are finally together,I just want her to know love and happiness. Prayers please :)

Almost done

2008-08-26T06:52:00.004-05:00

We visited Grandpa Grimm over the weekend. He has been working hard on Abby's dollhouse since January and as you can see it is almost done.I am so thankful for all the time and energy he put in to it. I know Chuck does not have the time or patience right now to undertake such a project. As far as our dossier goes, our home study is supposed to be finalized today. Then it can be sent to immigration to process our petition to adopt an orphan from China. All our other paperwork has been sent to the adoption agency for authentication etc. Brandon will get fingerprinted again on Sept.15Th (his 18Th birthday). This time for the FBI clearance. Hopefully,the immigration part won't take a ridiculous amount of time as it sometimes does and we can get this all over to China soon. One day at a time,that's what keeps me sane :)

Happy Birthday Lian Qing( Abby-Grace)

2008-08-05T09:31:00.003-05:00

Today is Abby's 5th birthday and though I am on a ship having my every whim attended to,I can't help but be a little sad when I think that there is a little girl in China turning 5 today(probably many)that has never had a birthday cake, or a present or people to sing to her. Today will be like every other day in the orphanage. Little does she know a half a world away her waiting family will be celebrating her and her birthday tonight. We will have cake,we will sing to her, we will give thanks to God that through his grace this will hopefully be the last birthday in the orphanage and that 1 year from now there will be a celebration all about her and the fact that she was born into this world matters. If you read this on her birthday, say a little birthday prayer that the adoption moves smoothly and quickly, our prayers are the best gift we could give her!

What's up

2008-07-27T08:15:00.005-05:00

We had our final home study visit with the social worker and she hopes to have the updated home study done in about 2 weeks. We are beginning to gather documents for our dossier(paperwork for China). I am really hoping to have our portion done by early September so the adoption agency can do what they have to and get it to China!
You may have noticed I changed the name at the top of the blog to Abby-Grace. We have talked a lot about what to do about her name. We don't want to completely ignore the fact that right now her name is Lian Qing, however our family has called this faceless dream of a child Abby for 5 years, I definitely wanted "Grace" some where because it is only by the GRACE of GOD we are receiving this gift.I thought long and hard and remembered this darling little girl at school who's name is Alexis-Grace and so after talking with Chuck, her name will be Abby-Grace Lian Grimm. We will start calling her Lian when we first meet and gradually teach her Abby.
I did a little clearance shopping at Target. It was so fun to look through the little girl section. I don't really know her size but I thought I'd be safe with a 5.(she is suppose to be a little peanut.) I got a pair of shorts, a little top and a giraffe raincoat all for seven bucks.I can't even tell you the feeling in my heart when I think about this actually happening. I am going to have a daughter! After 5 long years of dreaming and praying and waiting and crying and crying some more, it looks like God is finally leading us to where she is.

I am getting excited

2008-07-16T14:05:00.002-05:00

It is all starting to sink in that this time my dream may actually come to pass. That we are going to have a daughter! I was in Target today and I passed the little girl section, stopped as my heart skipped a beat and proceeded to look around with joy and anticipation. We have our last visit with our SW on July 23rd,hopefully our home study will be done soon. I spoke with the agency which told me now that we have approval and have begun working on the dossier,they can request updated photos and measurements of Lian Qing. I think the ones I have are about a year old. That really excited me as well.I feel a calm,that God is with us and now that I have given up control and given it to him,everything is going to be OK.

THEY SAID YES!!!!!!

2008-07-09T15:46:00.004-05:00

Well,here she is,our future daughter Shen Lian Qing. We got the call today that we were pre-approved by China. We only have few hundred more hoops to jump through and she will be ours forever. I have a swirl of emotions running through me. Everything from giddy excitement to"OMG"fear. I will continue to put this in the Lord's hands&ask for his guidance. I will write more soon,right now I am going to go do a"happy dance"

Still Waiting...

2008-06-30T11:11:00.005-05:00

We still haven't heard anything on our pre-approval from China. We have been chipping away at our paper work. We all had physicals and Brandon was fingerprinted for DCFS last week,we meet for our 2nd visit with the SW on Tuesaday and July 8th, we go to the Immigration Dept for re-fingerprinting. Time is really going quickly. Summer is flying by. Brandon leaves for his mission trip with church on July 3rd. Please pray for him and his team as they bring the word of God to the poverty stricken areas of St. Lucia. Two weeks with no contact with him is going to be rough for me. Hopefully, we will get some adoption news in those two weeks. Until then I give it all to the Lord for he knows best!

AHHHHHHH!!

2008-06-13T12:23:00.003-05:00

Well,we had our home visit yesterday and it's all a little overwhelming! We basically are completely starting over with the home study,we have important documents expiring,issues with "switching countries", paper work coming out our ears,Brandon becoming an "adult"in September,which is a whole other problem as far as paperwork is concerned.
Last night I went to bed and cried. I am already exhausted from all we have gone through for the past few years,the paperwork,the disappointments,the waiting and then I saw this glimmer of hope. I now feel as if overnight someone has dropped a brick wall in front of it. I prayed that God would give me strength and direction and he has answered. I called a friend who has already adopted from China and basically had melt down. She is amazing in her knowledge and clarity of it all. She is helping me(a lot!). I feel like she is truly heaven sent because I don't know if I could do it all by myself.Thank God for the angels among us!
As much as I am excited and eager to hear about pre-approval,a part of me hopes it takes a while because as soon as we have that,the 3 month clock starts ticking. I know I have to just give it all to God and let his plan and timing happen. Whew- I feel better already.

coincidence or a "sign"??

2008-06-09T22:00:00.009-05:00

The other day I was surfing the web. I made a stop at eBay and was putting in random words that came to mind. I decided to put in "Lian" since that is technically the waiting girl's name we are hoping to adopt and up pops this Cherished Teddy named Lian. A bear designed from China with "Our Friendship Spans Many Miles" stamped on the bottom.As some of you know I used to collect Cherished Teddies. I stopped after they had made a bear with every member of my families name. I sat their dumb founded at the thought that A) there was even a Chinese bear made and B) of all the names that it could have it has the same name as "our girl". I know to some it is nothing,just a coincidence but for me it was a moment that my heart skipped a beat.
I had another moment today that my heart skipped a beat. I called the agency because I was wondering when we could start the process for the pre-approval. She told me it has already been sent with our letter of intent to China. I guess the financial info we filled out and agency application, along with family photos have already been sent to China requesting pre-approval. We could know in as little as a week whether we are pre-approved or not. WOW! We have our home visit on Thursday. I am little nervous. I'm not sure why,we have had two before with the other agency but this is a new person. I guess I'm afraid she'll check a closet and decide it's too messy and we're not fit to parent a child LOL. I'm really trying to stay grounded and not let my heart get in too deep but it's hard. I find myself daydreaming about her all the time.
Every night when I pray I give this adoption to God and trust that he knows what is best for everyone involved. Hopefully,that is this very long,hard journey has all been so we could find this child and bring her home to her forever family.

Moving Along

2008-05-31T10:11:00.005-05:00

Well,things are moving right along. This week we sent in our application along with some other paperwork,contacted the SW for updating our home study. She is planning on doing the home visit the week ot June 9th.(Yikes) I typed out the"Letter of Intent" which basically lets China know there is someone who wants to adopt a waiting special needs child. Next will come the BIG things,the pre-approval and the dossier.It will take 2-4 weeks to find out if we are pre-approved. If we are then we have 3 months to submit a dossier and will travel 2-4 months after that is received. I am so glad I am going to be off when all of this paprework is happening. I am trying not to get TOO excited because we all know how quickly things can change(for good or bad). I do find my self daydreaming of what it would be like to have her home. Sometimes a wave of fear comes over me but then I give it to God and know he will be leading us the whole way.:)

An Open Door?

2008-05-24T08:34:00.004-05:00

A lot has happened. We were sent a file of a waiting little girl in China by an agency I contacted about a Thailand program. She is a waiting child in China. She is four years old. She has a repaired cleft lip/palate. I have seen God work in the last three days. He has opened door that were once closed. We were once told China was not a good choice because of Chuck's DUI. This agency feels because it has been over twenty years ago,it shouldn't be a deal breaker. They said we could get pre-approval before submitting all the paperwork. I am cautiously excited, a little overwhelmed at the thought of the paper work ahead of us. I have a strange calm about me(which is NOT like me)that I need to give this to God and he will make happen what is to happen.
God has placed her on our path, I don't know the future,I don't know if she is the "one" but we feel that we need to step out in faith. It would certainly explain the HEARTBREAK of the last few months. She is older than we had planned but maybe God knows that a toddler/baby doesn't really fit in to a family with 18 and 13 year old boys. Honestly,after the initial adjustment an older child would probably fit in better with our family. I had written out a whole other blog with her picture but then I felt like that was unethical to post her picture without knowing if she is "ours" or getting permission from the agency. Please pray for God's guiding hand with this situation. :)

Where in the world are you?

2008-05-02T04:47:00.005-05:00

It's 4a.m. I can't sleep because my mind races with confusion. Yesterday a sense of panic came over me, that we had done the wrong thing withdrawing from Vietnam. What if it only closes for a few months? Does God Let you go down a wrong road for a year and then say no? If He does why? I was kidding myself thinking my heart could rest. I tried to replace the yearning with worldly things like our vacation ,talk of remodeling the kitchen. It always come back to this yearning in my heart. If it's not suppose to happen then why doesn't God make it go away. I have NEVER had a hard time with any of my birthdays. I have always been excited and had a child like attitude. This year I can't stop crying because I am another year older and I am NO closer to fulfilling this dream. I always said as long as we were on the road to getting her by the time I was 40, I wouldn't be too old. Last year I was on the road,everything was moving along. Tomorrow I will be 41 and I don't even know where to begin to look for her. God knows I don't want to pick the wrong road AGAIN. I know most people don't understand why I can't let this go. I FEEL her in my heart, like she is my daughter. I believe GOD put it there. I believe with all my heart, even now, this IS suppose to happen. May be that is why God won't let me rest. This is what it feels like- Your child is missing and you have to find her, but you can't. No matter how hard you try and pray, she is out there lost. You can't rest because you don't want her to have to spend one more day than she has to lost and afraid. You can't rest until she is home with her family, where she belongs. WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU????? Please pray for me, for guidance, for God to show me the way to fill this calling, however that may be. I need my heart to be at peace.

Good-bye Vietnam

2008-04-26T12:13:00.004-05:00

Yesterday a decision was made for us as far as Vietnam. An official statement was made stating that on Sept 1,2008 only families already matched with a child would be allowed to continue their adoptions. Any unmatched dossiers would be sent back to the states and Vietnam will be closed for adoptions. This is devastating news to all those families that thought they were "safe" because their paperwork was in. It also completely put us out of any chance of being able to complete this adoption. So now what? We are going to sit and just be, be the Grimm family with 2 teenage boys and 2 dogs. We had considered moving forward on a waiting child in Kazakhstan but the 2 agencies couldn't work out an agreement to work together and since our home study is with CHI, we would have had to start all over with a new one. Which we don't have the strength or the finances to do. I had some reservations about that agency anyway. Things just didn't add up, which gave me an uneasy feeling about them. I also talked with another agency called Adoption ark. They were wonderful and compassionate. They are in it for all the right reasons. They are going to be starting an adoption program in Mongolia soon. They are going to contact us when it begins. I will see then, where my heart is, how much it costs, how long it takes and make a decision. Right now I plan to rest! I am so tired of crying, anxiety, waiting, wondering and yearning. I am emotionally exhausted,almost to the point of being numb. I read through my journal I write to Abby in, I started back in 2004. We have been through so much and still are really no closer to adopting than we were then. I don't understand why all of this has happened, when I felt sure God put this on my heart. I am not so sure anymore, I am not sure about anything but that life is uncertain and your world can change (for good or bad) in an instant. For now I am just going to be still, rest and deal with what life sends me one moment at a time.

Decisions

2008-04-20T17:10:00.003-05:00

Well, I talked to our adoption SW last week asked about are options. We are #121 so it doesn't look good for making the September 1st deadline. We can withdraw from the program and get 1/2 our money back, if we wait and it closes and then quit we get nothing back. We can sit on the waiting list while it is closed and probably be pretty far along when it reopens considering most people switch programs when something like this happens. There is also the option of checking on the waiting children /special need children in other adoption agencies. That too involves risk . I have heard of people accepting a waiting child ,going to pick them up and the child not being available but another child with more severe disablilities is offered. we have already invested about $6000 dollars into this adoption. Chuck and I really haven't had a heart to heart about this yet. I think he feels if he ignores it,it will take care of it self but we definitely have some heart felt decisions to make. Part of me feels like I am tired and worn out from the hoping,anxiety,uncertainty roller coaster we have been on for the past 5 years- many times feeling like someone has ripped my heart out.
Then on the other side, I FEEL her in my heart, this is suppose to happen. We have had so many little "signs" happen to us along the way that gave us hope. Then I go back to, if it's suppose to happen ,why do we keep running into brick walls???
I have really in these past weeks tried to focus on the blessings already in my life.
I have MANY dear 6 year old children at my job, that greet me with smiles and hugs. They are so full of love and aren't afraid to give it out. I have two good teenage boys(is that an oxymoron-LOL) Although this isn't my favorite stage of motherhood, I have had the blessing of being a mommy. Many of the blogs I read the couples have infertility problems and have NEVER gotten to be a mommy/daddy. My infertility is self imposed for which I will forever regret. Sometimes i think this my punishment for not appreciating what I was given. Anyway,focus on what you have is my game plan these next weeks. Chuck and I will be making our decision this week, please pray for God to guide us to do his will and to give us strength for whatever road we follow

The Perfect Song for Me

2008-04-04T17:59:00.004-05:00

I have added the perfect song , it tells just how I feel. Even though we are going through this very hard time. I have to remember he is my Heavenly Father, who has given me many blessing throughout my life. Including a wonderful Earth father, who I miss dearly. I've got to continue to "Praise him in this Storm"
P.S. CHI got 2 referrals today now, we are #123 :)

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

The End Of The Road??????

2008-04-01T21:18:00.003-05:00

Well, I haven't written in a long time because I kept hoping I would have something good or encouraging to write. Things regarding Vietnam adoptions have been getting progressively worse. The U.S. and Vietnam were suppose to meet sometime in March to come up with a new agreement, which expires 8/30/08.For some reason an agreement must be made 6 months prior to signing. Well, March 31st has come and gone and neither side has made any attempts to come up with a new agreement or even set up talks. So on August 30th Vietnam will officially be closed for adoptions. Any family without it's paperwork logged in at Vietnam will not receive a referral for a child until it re-opens under a new agreement. The last time this happened it was 2 years before it re-opened. So basically we need a miracle for this adoption to happen. 26 families have to receive a referral before we will even get the go ahead to start our paperwork. Even if we made that, it takes months to get your paper work completed, authenticated,sent to the U.S. embassy, translated and sent on to the officials in Vietnam. So things are not looking good for us. Chuck and I both agreed this was our last attempt. If something bad happened, we would have to just take it as a "no" from God. We haven't officially "quit" the adoption because it doesn't cost us anything to sit for awhile and see what happens. I guess I am still holding out that God will step in and save the day. My heart has been breaking these past weeks as I try to come to terms with these facts. There is probably never going to be an Abby, I will probably never give her all the special things I have waiting for her, I will never have my moment, when our eyes meet and I finally get to hold her. I still have a tiny glimmer of hope in my heart but everyday the news from the adoption world gets worse so it's all In God's hands now.... :(

Super Grandpa

2008-02-25T16:10:00.004-06:00

Well,as you can see Grandpa Grimm has been very busy working on the dollhouse. It has been quite a project as each shingle has to be glued on. It's going to be amazing when it's finished. Today is eight months waiting for Abby's referral. Today I am feeling down, eight months and we still have 127 people in front of us. Also there is a terrible virus going through the orphanages in Vietnam. Nine babies in just one orphanage have died from lack of medical treatment. One of those babies was a referral of a families whos blog I follow. It's very sad. Please pray that no more children will die from this terrible virus and pray for spring.

Happy New Year- The Year of the Rat

2008-02-07T14:54:00.001-06:00

Today is the the Chinese New Year or Tet as it is called in Vietnam. It is the biggest celebration of the Asian countries. The celebrating will go well into next week. I know this because we were told NOTHING will happen with the adoption process until probably the 15th because everything is closed. The U.S.needs to celebrate this,in the middle if the long winter,everyone just takes a week off and spends it with their family(in FLORIDA). We did get some good news this week,we are #131, which is 10 better than we thought. The Lord willing we will at least have a picture by this time next year. Let's hope the year of the Rat is a good one:)

Until we are together

2008-01-18T15:32:00.000-06:00

I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU ORPHANS, I WILL COME TO YOU
JOHN 14:18

Encouraging

2008-01-18T15:10:00.000-06:00

Today I met with Brandon's English teacher, who recently returned from Vietnam. She adopted a baby boy. It was a very encouraging visit,as she showed me pictures of Vietnam,the orphanage and told me of her trip. There is much more to see there then I realized. She eased a lot of my anxieties about cultural differences. She enjoyed the food and said her experience with the Vietnamese people was wonderful. Many came up to her and said"lucky baby" One young girl came up to her and said"no mother, No father" She pointed to her son and said "New mother,New Father" Thank You. She said it was very touching. It was so great talking to someone who has been through it all. The last thing she said to me really touched my heart. she said, " I know sometimes it is hard to wait but you will end up with YOUR child ,the one that was meant for you and your family. Hearing that makes waiting a little bit easier.

Grandpa to the Rescue

2008-01-05T21:34:00.001-06:00

Well,after sitting for 6 months in our family room,much to my dismay nothing had been done on the dollhouse we bought last summer. Chuck mentioned it to his dad and he said he'd take a look at it. We gave it to him on January 1st and what this man has accomplished in 4 stinkin' days is amazing!! Go Ernie Go. We dropped off paint yesterday. I am so excited now at the idea of this actually getting done & I am so gratful that he was willing to put the time and effort into this. I am hoping to keep putting pictures up as it progresses

Happy New Year

2008-01-04T09:01:00.000-06:00

Well, another year has come and gone but this year was a year that we moved forward on the adoption and officially became a "waiting family". Though in my heart we've been a waiting family for MANY years. Our SW came out on the 2nd because the homestudy has to be updated yearly. She said we have about 100 families infront of us But 100 behind us also. I told her I had a good feeling about this year-she said I do too. That was encouraging. Brandon has to go through quite a bit of paperwork and fingerprinting by his 18th birthday in September, since he will be a legal adult. That seems so funny to me, I have gotten other letters informing me of his upcoming "adulthood". I think to my self, These people must be crazy, that's no adult- THAT'S MY BABY!
She said we should be getting an ok to start on our dossier soon(GOOD NEWS). Well, We will all just have to sit back and see what that wonderful, wacky God of ours has in store for us all in 2008. 2007 was filled with so many blessings and that is what I hope for 2008 for my family, friends and a little orphan girl waiting somewhere in Vietnam.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T06:48:00.000-06:00

Mung Chua Giang Sinh or Merry Christmas Abby. Wherever you are, you are being thought of,loved and prayed for. I thank God for the progress that has been made this past year and I ask that he continue to guide us on this very long rocky journey. Another year will begin soon, I pray that it be a year of hope and promise toward you and that a year from now I might find myself a little closer to the day when we are "Finally Five"

Third Day

2007-12-08T19:17:00.001-06:00

Chuck and I had an Amazing time this Friday. We Went to see the Christian band Third day in concert.It has been a long time since I have felt God has sent me,what I call "a sign of hope". These are little unexpected things that happen in a seemingly normal day -that give me hope that he still wants us on the adoption path. Well, At the concert which had already been an amazing experience, the guitarist begins to share the story of how even though they have 3 girls, they felt called to adopt and began the process to adopt a girl from China. They knew it would be at least a year but then they started to experience bumps along the way and that one year became two and longer. He shared how-The love you feel for someone you've never met is amazing, the waiting is so hard, so his wife asked him to try to put the feelings into words. This is the song they sang. it's called "Merry Christmas"

There's a little girl trembling on a December morn
Crying for mama's arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
There the forgotten are

But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I'm warmed by the fire's glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
Make angels in the snow

But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven's angels come to carry you here

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
and we celebrate his perfect gift of love
He came to earth to give his life
and prepare a place for us
so we could have a home with him above

It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And I'll tell you from my heart, and I'll tell you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas

Needless to say I was a blubbering mess at the end, as pictures of his family and orphanage children were flashed on the screen but you'll notice the last verse, she is home. They finally brought her home four months ago. That would have been enough of a moment for me but it gets better. Chuck got us backstage passes and we met the band. I shared with him our journey- he gave me so much hope. I just feel like it is going to happen. We too will someday bring home our little girl. It was an amazing night and one I won't soon forget. Thanks God, for the moment!

More Girl Referrals:)

2007-10-26T16:01:00.000-05:00

We received another update today, two more girls!! What's really extra good is they waited 16 months(not 2 years) and the girls are infants(both under 2 months old). They are working with 2 more orphanages. I get so excited when we get news like this. Everyday is a day closer to Abby. "Dreams are extemely important. You can't do it unless you imagine it"- George Lucas

Today's quote

2007-10-11T16:11:00.000-05:00

'Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're probably right"-Henry Ford

Quote of the Day

2007-10-09T17:02:00.000-05:00

"If you can DREAM it,you can DO it"- Walt Disney

Encouraging words

2007-10-07T19:43:00.000-05:00

I have a book full of encourgaing quotes said by famous people. I look at it from time to time or when It feels like our dream is far away and may never come true. I thought I would post them ( I'll try for atleast once a week). Everyone can use a little encouragment.
Todays is: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step-Lao Tzu

To answer your question

2007-09-29T20:03:00.001-05:00

We were told to plan on a 2 year wait but only God knows. We are on the list for a healthy girl up to 3 years old so it depends on what the people in front of us are looking for. Many couples who have no children are looking for only infants and will take either sex, which means if a 3 yr old becomes available, we would ge the referral however some people will take an older child so it really is unknown how long it will be. After we get our referral, it is about 5 months until you travel, 10 days in Vietnam and then we are a forever family.

Praise The Lord!!

2007-09-28T17:27:00.000-05:00

We just got another update from CHI and they received 2 more girl referrals this week. They have placed 67 children so far this year, 33 more have been matched and they are hoping to have 80 adoptions completed by the end of the year!!! Good News two weeks in a row-thank you God for the blessings I already have and those yet to come! Keep those baby girl referrals coming :)

Some Good News

2007-09-20T16:42:00.000-05:00

We got some good news today in our CHI Vietnam update today,they got five referrals today and 3 were girls. That many girls at one time is rare. Maybe it will not end up being the two year wait we were told. I just have to hold on the what Brandon says, "God's time is perfect time". I actually had a really great dream last night about Abby. We were with her in Vietnam playing in a park, it was wonderful,very real. Then I was awoken by Brandon, asking me to put ear drops in his ear, GOOD MORNING!!. Anyway, that email made my day and gave me hope:)

It's about time

2007-08-09T14:03:00.000-05:00

Finally, some changes in the adoption world that will actually make things a little easier for prospective adoptive parents. I just received word from Children's Hope(our adoption agency) that the USCIS is now allowing one extension on your Orphan petition and fingerprinting free of charge. Your I-600A -the form that grants you permission to bring an orphan from another country back to the U.S., is only good for 18 months, wait time in just about every country is greater than that, which means the parents had to hand over another $700 to extend the petition. It may seem like a small thing but it's just nice to see a change being made that makes things easier instead of harder. All these children in orphanages(and foster care) and they keep raising the bar and the cost.Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, so this was definitely good news!